Monday 25 January 2010

Tips To Stop A Break Up And Get Your Boyfriend Back

By Jessica Melone

He was your everything, your soul mate, your one true love. And now he's gone, he broke up with you and you're on your own. It's not a good place, not a place you want to be. So, do you know how to get your ex boyfriend back? Let's talk.

Believe it or not, even if you don't feel it, you must first agree with the breakup. This is a tactic of course and even though every part of you wants to fight for your right to be with your man, you have to agree with him leaving you. This is how to get your boyfriend back, or at least to start the process. He will not be happy to fight with you, to argue with you over why the relationship ended. As long as there is fighting, the relationship remains 'over'. So start things off right by agreeing with him.

Another important thing to learn about how to get your ex boyfriend back is to respect his feelings. Be understanding, and don't whine, complain or fight with him. Don't argue about the breakup, about who's to blame and whose fault it is. He broke up with you and you're the one that wants to do the work of getting him back. Respect him and let him see you respect him by not whining. By whining and complaining and crying and begging, you're actually being disrespectful of his feelings. You'll only end up pushing him away. Instead, respect him and his choice.

Think next about why the breakup happened. Was one of you abusive to the other? Did one of you cheat? If these behaviors or other negative behaviors were part and parcel of your relationship, maybe learning how to get your ex boyfriend back is the least of your troubles. Reconsider how badly you want the relationship to work and really examine why the breakup happened before you jump back into something that wasn't healthy to begin with.

Give him his space. He broke up with you in order to get some time to himself. He may be thinking it's over, forever and for good. Maybe you are also thinking this. However if he ever loved you, his feelings for you are not going to simply go away. If this was once a healthy relationship, the breakup may be a temporary thing. Maybe he just needs time to breathe and rethink things. Allow him to miss you. Don't call and pester him with updates on your personal situation constantly. Be available without being clingy and impinging on his need for breathing room. Let him be the one to call you. Practically ignore him. If he loves you, if there is hope for this relationship, he will come back to you on his own terms and in his own time.

An important part of how to get your ex boyfriend back might actually be called 'how to get back at your ex boyfriend'. This isn't about revenge or making him sorry he left you. This is about remembering who you were before you became his partner. There were things about you that he found desirable, irresistible. Remember them. Have you put on weight or let yourself go out of taking his presence in your life for granted? Now is the time to put on your best face and look as good as you can. Don't forget to feel good about yourself too, because inner beauty shines out. Let him see how strong and happy you can be, despite missing him. He'll realize you are still the person he loves and can't wait to be with.

As many reasons as there are for why people break up, there are also ways how to get your ex boyfriend back. Before you try any of them, make sure this is what you want and what is best for you. He is an ex boyfriend for a reason, even if you didn't initiate the breakup. If you are sure he's the one for you, you will find a way to get him back. Choose healthy options rather than cruel ones. Avoid jealousy and revenge and remember that if he is the one you deserve, he will be yours. If he isn't, you will soon find the right person for you.

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